Equity, More than an Initiative

 

As I sit here, finishing up my COVID quarantine, I am preparing for round seven of an interview process. In a profession where there is so much at stake- education- I have to show a committee that I have what it takes. A school leadership position is complex, so one has to show she/he has what it takes in thousands of arenas.

So I am preparing. In between naps and drinking lots of fluids... and one of the areas they will be exploring are my thoughts around equity.

It is more than an interview question to me. It is more than something you cram for... 

It is about integrity.

It is about choices I have already made.

It is about what my hopes are for the future.

Schools sit in the center of every community. Children come in from all around. We are so important. Each child represents someone's treasure, someone's heart. There are hopes, dreams, and aspirations that follow each one. Even those who have homes with neglect or abuse- there is such potential in each child and they come walking through that door. We are not just called to teach, but to love.

And each child comes in with their own heart too. So much yet to grasp. Not only in academics, but about their concept of self. We get to inspire them to know themselves better and to know how things work so that they can maximize this gift of life.

What other places in our community have such potential energy? We invest in the hopes of the present and the community of the future. Our children will be happy, productive, compassionate... or they will be wasted by so many things that can trap them... and schools stand right there in the middle of it all.

So equity to me is about inspiring the hearts of every single child that walks through that door. The road to inspiration is never the same for each child. The journey begins with One of the Covey's Habits. 

Wonder

This begins in my heart. Equity work begins in my heart. Am I wondering about things? One time I stood up in front of a staff meeting at a school in rural North Carolina and asked our predominately white faculty, "Do you know what it is like to be an African American male in your classrooms? Have you ever asked?" I did.

See, I was teaching 5th grade and when the principal was not on campus they pulled me for discipline cases. At our school, African American male students were always in the time out chairs outside of classrooms. Disproportionate statistics. They pulled me one day and as I am being escorted to the office to deal with this third grader I am getting an emotional earful. He did this, you need to deal with him sternly, and on and on... I walked into a room and looked down at a young African American male student who was sweating and breathing so hard we had to wait a few minutes for him to catch his breath. He had on some awesome khaki pants and a white button down shirt. I thought that looked pretty sharp except I noticed he had ink pen writing all over his thighs. My brain immediately went to two things... possible boredom and lack of supervision. I also knew he had one of the worst teachers I have ever known. A late hire to reduce class sizes- who didn't even know he was supposed to stay with his class during a field trip.

Was I stern? No, I was warm. Was I gonna get em? Know I was going to seek first to understand. I felt wonder. I felt compassion. I was a role model for how to handle stressful situations even right now in this discipline context. The first words out of my mouth were, "So do you remember me? I waved at you in the hall- I teach 5th grade here." He said yes. I then asked my wondering question... "Son, how does school feel to you?" His response stunned me.

"It feels like prison."

This tear, that is forming on my eyelid even 15 years after the fact... that is an equity tear. I wondered how we can create a system where a group in this building feels so heavy about our place. He wasn't the only voice. I had students who never passed a state test but were going home with all A's on their report cards. As I sat at a parent conference, where a mom was beaming with pride because her girl got an A in math... until I told her something no one had ever shared with her before. 

"Mam, that is not really an A."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your daughter is in the lowest math class in our grade. She is learning math that is two years behind. What you see is not an A in 5th grade math but an A in 3rd grade math."

"How come no one ever told me this! What do I need to do?"

People can deny systemic racism until they are blue in the face but I have seen it with my own eyes. It was experiences like this that made me go to my principal and ask permission to keep all my students and stop sending them to these tracking classes. He let me. And students who never passed a state test in their lives finally got to feel what it was like to be successful.

That's equity. It took a lot to get from here to there- I had to examine my teaching style and expectations. I did something practical that every educator should do... wonder about your non-verbals. Facial expressions say a lot and we are unaware of them!!! So I wondered how my face looked when I spoke to the blonde haired, blue eyed gifted students when they scored an 80 on a test. "You know you can do better than that." Then I took that face and applied it like make up when I spoke with my brown haired and brown eyed student who never passed a state test in his life... "You can do better than that." 

I wondered how t-shirt companies and shoe companies can motivate people to "Just Do it." So I made a T-shirt that made people angry. It said, "R U A 4... Yet?" 

See we took weekly assessments and getting a 5 was the highest you can get. Students wanted the T-shirts and they worked for them. It was my expectation that all of us as a class would reach this level... This is equity work. Raising expectations. Believing in students. Wondering about how other industries have reached our students.

We wrote letters to colleges- I taught them how to ask questions. Raise their eyes to some potential futures they might not have seen. YOU should have seen the kids when they ran up to me at school with a letter they received! The smart schools sent a poster, pennant, or t-shirt. But my favorite part was reading the letters to the class... "Dear Nolan, thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. We know you are in 5th grade right now but you are the kind of student we are hoping for and we want you to reach out to us when you are ready for college." There is that equity tear again... 

In that little school in North Carolina I proved that the Achievement Gap was not unbeatable. I was angered that there was a persistent problem with academic growth and achievement for our children with color and with poverty. We hear the public outcry for our environment, for our rain forests, for the whales and even horned frogs... but why wasn't this issue elevated to the top? HOW MANY LIVES HAVE WE WASTED IN OUR BROKEN SYSTEMS!!!!

So I wondered, are there any other people who have looked for answers? Then, there in the middle of Statesville, NC my life changed forever. My students inspired me to enroll in a PhD program.

Off to Denver I went to study this crisis. And I found Hope. Have you heard of Hope Theory? It breaks a system because it empowers the students. 

Empowerment is the Answer to the Achievement Gap. 

Empowerment starts with wonder, the educator is wondering about a student's interests, passions, abilities, and preferences. The student is wondering about the world and how they fit in. So we create systems that allow students to set personal goals, create multiple pathways to achievement and provide support to develop their agency and self-efficacy. That is equity.

I created Data folders that we called Hope Folders that did just that. As I began to lead schools I helped communities work smarter around mathematics development- increasing their collaborative density and the result has been pretty amazing. Every school where I have led started off with an achievement gap and then it vanished. Minority students showed as much growth as every other group. Why? Because equity is more that an interview question- it is about integrity. It is about choices.

To earn my PhD was extremely hard. Many in my cohort dropped out. I thought about quitting when my twins were stillborn at 21 weeks. One of them we named Hope. And guess what my dissertation is titled? "Hope's Voice." I never told anyone about that until today... so I could not quit. I don't know if you are understanding me... I was so sick of school that I didn't even want to attend graduation and get my degree. 

Well, here is the magic of those years. I learned about Roses Growing in Concrete by Jeffrey Andrade. I learned about Teacher-Student Relationship Quality (TSRQ) from Pedro Noguera. My process for research involved working with some awesome high schoolers. Students went into high schools in Denver and Aurora and interviewed students that looked like them- ie. Hispanic female students had a hispanic female interviewer. I was able to find out what inspired students and what they found as barriers. Hope was my foundational theory. I learned so much- I am thankful for my professors and advisors who never gave up on me. I graduated with clarity and focus on how systems can be better and how we can exterminate this Achievement Gap for good.

I am still on my learning journey- I still want to see what others have found to inspire our students and increase growth and maximize potential. All the while, guarding the heart of our community and not losing the child in the age of accountability.

So, what is equity to me?

It has been my life. Because I know EVERY student under my care has been honored for who THEY are. I wondered how to reach, teach, and inspire their hearts as well as their minds. I rallied educators to grow and see themselves as part of the solution and I connected with families in many ways so they felt their value as part of the process.

Thank you for sharing this time with me today and I hope you can continue your growth along with me.

Please contact me for anything I can do to support you.

Doc

Personalization is the Answer to Our Pandemic School Questions

Our systems must change. 

The new normal is upon us and we have to think differently- we must adapt and innovate in order to meet the needs of students and guard the mental health of our educators and parent populations.

It starts with a mindset. All the discussion on Fixed vs. Growth Mindset comes into play here. We have expected our students to adopt a Growth Mindset, well now our system needs to embrace it.

So, how do we do that?

Get Excited. Counterintuitive maybe, but get excited because we can create something that can build students who are no longer passengers but pilots! This is ultimately my hope in any school- that students learn to chart their courses, navigate turbulence in life and get their dreams off the ground. We can only get this to happen if we can create a system that is customized to individuals- or in other words... personalized.

Learn from the Gym. When you walk into any gym, what do you see? What systems are in place? There are usually experts around to provide guidance. There is a variety of equipment and people are doing all kinds of things. One guy maybe busting out some miles on the treadmill, another may be pumping some curls and a third is chilling in the sauna. Some people have formed small groups and are moving to the music of a Zumba class! All are here to grow. All have established their goals and most have a plan or routine that they helped develop. Perhaps there is a way we can steal some inspiration from our local gyms on how we can adapt or grow as a school system.

Embed Hope Theory. Professor Snyder (1991) created this method for inspiration called Hope Theory. When people set goals, have an understanding of the pathways to reach these goals, AND possess the agency to make the efforts to take these pathways... they have Hope. So, create systems that give students voice and choice. To show them who they are as learners... to give them partnership with the learning goals... and watch them take off. Watch them with a smile from ear to ear... they are capable of surpassing our expectations when we can give them ownership of their learning.

ReThink the Roles of Teachers. Teachers become system engineers and Momentum Coaches. Similar to Personal Trainers... they co-create programs and care plans for students as individuals. They provide encouragement for the agency students need and energy that students are burning through as they follow their personalized approach. This is crucial- we must invest in teacher training and teacher support for this shift to be successful.

To reduce burnout and provide inspiration- our teachers must know they are cared for, supported, and trained well. We can come out of this pandemic with a stronger system of education if we only will embrace personalization as the answer to our questions.

www.michaelsroth.org  
 

The School Culture Wheel

 As he got up and began to climb on the desk, I was not sure whether I should stand up to catch him if he fell or just sit and see what happened next. The scene will never leave my mind- Thomas Sergiovanni my professor and mentor began to talk about how culture is one of the most challenging aspects of leadership... "It is like trying to get an amoeba to cross the street. You push on one side and the other parts ooze back around you. He spoke of doing our best to build relationships and lead through a common vision and connection.

I have spent many years working on my growth as a cultural leader. Not all my learning has come through getting things right- I have learned much from the mistakes along the way. 

As I am in interviews and often have been asked about the cultural aspects of leadership I thought I would reflect a little. Please let me know what you think after reading this post.

HONOR: In my college days the professor imprinted this concept during my cross cultural communications class... honor is much more a part of communication than you give it credit for. There are countries where it is everything. So how can having an attitude of honor impact leadership? It means we respect all. It means we learn to listen with empathy. It means we reflect before making decisions... have we heard from everyone? 

It means we embrace diversity. We look for opinions that do not match the majority opinion. It means we reach out and find new perspectives and voices- learn from different opinions.

It means we are aware of the effort and accomplishments of ALL those in our organization and we have created routines and systems to pull recognition and celebration to the center of what we do as a group.

CONNECTION: What unites our group? Have we spent time building things that unite us? Relationships where we know our teams, we know the individuals that make up our group. We care about the individual. Their passions, their unique styles, and even their quirks. We love them. 

Shared vision can be so powerful. Mission, Vision, and Values are the true leader in any place. As a school principal I serve that and that means I serve the people who make up this organization since they crafted this vision. It is so important to bring this vision mission and all the values into your gut and lead with these as your guide.

Fun is essential to build connection. Laughter and food, enjoying each other's company... it all becomes a context for super cultural energy. I love being in a group where laughter is flowing. And since life is short... this is where meaning comes into our life...

COMMUNICATION: The capillaries and veins carry so much throughout our body and we need clean, clear, and consistent informations systems. Clarity removes anxiety and we can do so much to have an organization happy kind of like a liver can remove the toxins from the blood creating a cleaner and more vibrant bloodstream.

As a leader part of the communication process is being aware of what the needs are so you can provide what is needed- nothing more and nothing less. 

CONFLICT & RESTORATION FOCUS: How we recognize this element in culture and set up for it is crucial. We must find ways to maximize the POTENTIAL ENERGY conflict brings. It is electric- it is something that has the potential to unite like no other phase of culture... When we pull our efforts into the long term picture of why we exist and what our coming together provides for the students ow and the students to come... it can help us listen to other perspectives with openness. 

In addition, being aware that there are conflict patterns that wound a culture. We must come together on how to be loyal to the absent and eliminate the toxic behaviors that hurt us. Behaviors like gossip, slander, indirect and passive aggressive communication. This seems to be a challenge wherever you go. So perhaps there are trainings or mentoring relationships that can help a community mature in the conflicting process.

Finally- forgiveness needs to be a big part of an organizations' culture and we will all mess up at times. We must begin to embrace each other even when our flaws are apparent.

TRADITIONS AND STORY: Part of what draws me to visiting countries around the world is to experience the power of the traditions there and hear their Oral Traditions. I love seeing how a group of people unite around dance, food, events, or anniversary. I believe every unique school has its own story and traditions. There is something rich about being still and experiencing the local flavor.

Wherever life leads me, I am so excited about the culture and opportunities that await, similar to when you are about to backpack in Europe or visit Honduras, Australia, or Romania... life is short and culture is one of the things that make it powerful!

Underwater Academy: 5 Years Out

 In order to prepare for the colonization of the Moon and Mars, I propose this idea to all interested in Space Exploration.

Let's create a community on the Ocean Floor.

I'm not crazy. This is a serious thought... but then again I might be a little bit crazy... that is how my brain works. I love creating things out of nothing... but there are many out there already working on these concepts.

Why did we collect moon rocks? How many millions of dollars did it take to get those rocks? Why do we have thousands of experiments on the International Space Station? What have we gained from all this effort and work?

I'd argue that we gained far more than we know. Curiosity is alive. What price tag would you put on being fully alive? 

So, we are sending rovers to Mars right now and studying the elements, conditions, history and potential for a base on Mars. Heck, you can even buy acres on Mars on Groupon! I argue that we can begin preparing for this eventuality through designing a community in the crazy conditions that exist on the Ocean Floor. 

Domed. Pressure. Emergency survival conditions. Isolation. Darkness. I know they had Biomes in the desert- this would be our next step.

I'll be your school designer- your building principal. Here is a Playful look at what might be!

A day in the life of The Great Barrier Elementary School. Home of the Guppies. 

At the entrance of the school, staff greats the students coming in from the community tunnel system. 

Good Morning Guppies! This is Dr. Roth with your Morning Announcements. Today's menus includes Tuna, Kelp and fresh Sea Cucumbers! Thank you for all the efforts to help the Sea Turtle population I am happy to announce our nursery has been able to release another thousand into the wild yesterday! Congratulations to the 5th grade Scuba team for their second place finish in the district competition as well. Our Quote of the week is from Leonardo Da Vinci who once said, "Who sows virtue, reaps honor..." So do something great for someone else today. Have a fantastic Day!"

Classes include Underwater geography, the history of nautical science, and scuba 301. 

Safety drills include Dome Leak Evacuation, Shark drills and oxygen tank malfunctions.

There are so many fun directions this can go... have fun with your imagination.

In the end, maybe there are several things we can learn that will one day save the lives of our brave men and women who go to colonize Mars. Men and women that very well may be the toddlers running around your ankles today... 

Be fully alive today friends... dream a little. And let me know if you want me to help!

Michael

(Image from https://www.landscapearchitecture.nz/landscape-architecture-aotearoa/2019/9/5/tomorrows-world)

Other pages of interest:  http://www.seao2.com/undersea/ & http://anarchismtoday.org/futuristic-underwater-smart-homes-being-built-in-dubai/)

TEACHERS ARE FAT...

TEACHERS ARE FAT....

Sharpening your knives as you begin to read this I bet- another bully coming along to make fun of people who are overweight...

According to an article from Food and Nutrition Journal on April of 2018 the problem is serious.
As a principal that is now carrying my Quarantine 15 I am fat too... and over my years as a school leader I have noticed a body type that tends to appear- it is a teacher shape... not unlike the picture from Wally Above.
Here is an exerpt from the article I read:
Results indicated that 43.2% of the teachers had Grade I obesity, 20.4% had Grade II obesity and 6.6% had Grade III obesity thereby indicating obesity as a significant health problem among teachers. Factors such as age, waist circumference, intake of junk foods, physical inactivity and BMI were significantly associated with obesity.
Journal Website:www.foodandnutritionjournal.org

So do we sit back and notice but do nothing?
Teachers- on the front lines for our children... fighting for the future of our community. Their words ignite dreams and instill courage and grit. They are truly heroes... and this is not all their fault.
So here are some proactive things to consider...

IF YOU ARE A NEW TEACHER: You are important. YOU are important. Make time for your health. don't let the stresses of our tremendous work load take you away from investing time in your health. Our work is like a sponge... it will take all the time you give it. You can work until 10PM get up early and work all weekend... and never get it all done. Look around your building for a veteran- maybe ten years in or more... that still has a smile on their face. Usually they will have smile wrinkles... and make sure they are not using drugs to get that smile! For me- Mrs. Sharp and Mrs. Freihheit were the examples of joyful teaching when I was in my first year. I will give ou some of my tips too if you reach out... just know this... set a time when work shuts off. Then invest in a walk, job, aerobics class... you need to sweat and get your heart pumping every day.

IF YOU ARE An OVERWEIGHT TEACHER: Breath. Start small. If you can't jog- walk. YOU ARE WORTH IT- spend some time investing in yourself. I know you give all you can for your kids- spending your pennies on stuff for the classrooms and giving countless hours... I know babysitters make more than you per hour. I KNOW. But maybe the airlines have it right when they give us the preflight speech. In the case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure- put your mask on first. You are so important to the fabric of our nation. So here are some tips... get a solid mental health provider/counselor and for the first two months see them weekly. Often times food is a way we numb the pains we carry. Set up a class or a buddy to walk with daily. There are tricks to getting grades and such more efficiently so you can have more time for yourself. Set up your vacations early- so you can invest in your mental health. You are loved- believe that.

IF YOU ARE a DISTRICT or SCHOOL LEADER: Obese teachers have higher rates of heart disease and other bad things. You are charged with taking care of those who work for you- though I have found many leaders in my career to be heartless and only concern themselves with covering their own asses- you need to pay attention. The system is creating conditions that lead to burnout, teacher depression, and obesity. What can you do/ What can I do?
1. Sit down with a team and reflect. What have you done? What is next? If you see the teachers as your family... how would you look at this? Whatever it takes.
2. List resources. Perhaps you utilize your high school gyms better and offer staff a membership to work out there- with incentives for the times they come in.
3. Hire a district health advisor- programmer. In your benefits- provide nutrition and dietary experts that can build personalized meal plans.
4. Increase benefits for staff to include a membership to health clubs and adequate funds for staff to access counseling.
5. Create calendars with two week long Fall and Spring Breaks. shut emails down over weekends. Create margin and time to breathe.
6. Reduce pressure on state testing results and increase the focus on student learning... create leagues for staff to play volleyball, ride bikes, and softball.
7. Create staff trainings that include laughter- joy- and fun. Life is short.
8. Break up central office and house departments in buildings requiring everyone to spend time with teachers in classrooms- grounding them in the hardest work in the district.
9. Provide mentor training for all building administrators- get them HIGHLY skilled at caring for their teachers and staff. Create a structure for these interactions- push principals to build relationships of high quality.
10. Reduce evening events- provide child care- find a way to pay teachers for the stuff they buy out of pocket. As a school leader that means looking for ways to increase classroom budgets.
11. Increase recognition frequency and capacity. Why do teachers only gt to recognize one teacher of the year... Why can't we do better than this. The Oscars, Grammy's, Writer's Guild and even Nobel give more than one award per year.

It is certainly not an exhaustive list but the bottom line is how much do you love your teachers? They don't have any hesitation in giving their all for our children so I think they deserve for us to give our all for them.

As I drink my water, catch my breath from my latest walk/jog or Wog... and reflect on what I can do next... I am wishing you all the best and hope at least one person has inspiration to make a life change and get your heart healthy in more ways than one...
M

From Kitty Hawk to DIA, Hope for Educators When the World Changes Due to a Pandemic

We are in week 2 of a new era. Our school building is closed. Everyone is working from home. All our students are now learning to fly solo with a voice from the tower... and stress has filled the hearts of our educators.

I sit as a principal, pondering how to cast vision, how to inspire, how to protect people I care about from the stresses of this season. A pandemic is killing thousands in our world, in our country. Families are quarantined. People are wearing masks all around. An invisible enemy threatens our loved ones. Everything is canceled. No sports, no graduations, no funerals or weddings. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my lifetime.

In cognitive coaching, they have a term called reframing. It is taking a problem and putting it into a bigger picture. It helps people put challenges and problems in perspective. So, I went to the history books to find a way to reframe what we are dealing with.

Teachers are frustrated with digital platforms that fail. Frustrated that they have to depend on a civilian force to take over their work. Frustrated they do not get to see their students. The change from a face-to-face interaction to digital is tremendous and for some- a complete 180 from what they are used to... as a leader I know how change management goes... you need to give it time. People will grieve what they are leaving behind. We have no time, we must press forward or as Dory says in a movie Finding Nemo... "Just keep swimming."

So to reframe the current mentality of stress and frustration I landed on the story of Orville and Wilber. Inspired by a childhood toy to see if flight could happen. They gave it a shot. Failed. in 1903 they lived in a world without airports. There was no Air Force protecting our nation. There was no billion dollar travel industry. There were horses and carriages... the Civil war ended recently. Lincoln was assassinated around the time these brothers were born. But they had a vision, and a model... and they were reflective. They tried and failed. Learned from it. Tried again. Then one day, in 1903 they saw their plane fly for 57 seconds. 57 seconds of hope. Changed the world right there.within the next 5 years advancements transformed the concept into something that could fly for minutes, hours, and the Wright Brothers started a ripple that has changed our world. What if they decided they were failures because they only could build a machine that lasted 57 seconds in the air? What if they listened to the critics who said they were fools. If they listened, then Niel Armstrong never would have walked the moon with a piece of fabric from the Wright Flyer's wing in his pocket. Little did the brothers know that the flying machine that went for 57 seconds would someday reach the moon.

And thus we reframe our present situation. We are working hard to get our instruction to fly in this new era. Building lessons this way, that way, or maybe this other way. We are eagerly hoping they will fly. Students will engage, students will learn. But we may only see a small piece of what we were hoping for. Like 57 seconds was to the Wright brothers, we see something. We can pause, reflect, and revise our plans. Because this is not a small moment in our profession. We are seeing something that can change learning management forever.

We are looking at classrooms that are built around the student's needs, interests, and capacities. We are personalizing, customizing, and adapting like never before. Blending our face-to-face with online platforms. Teachers are using video, conferencing, social media, and more to engage whole families in the educational process. To me this is exciting. When we walk out of this, our teachers will have new muscles- new skills, and even more... a new perspective on what it means to guide the learning of the next generation. I don't think we will ever be able to return fully to what was before. Just like we can't go back to the world before planes.

DIA (Denver International Airport) wasn't built in a day. There had to be planes first. Planes began on a field in Kitty Hawk, NC in 1903. 117 years ago. Planes began with flights of 57 seconds and grew from there. Only the imagination will be able to describe what ripple effects with happen even 117 years from now (2137) because of the courageous and adventurous educators who are stepping into this era with a vision no one has ever seen before.

Professional Reading and Investing in My Growth

Better Conversations

Focus on improving my skills in Communication

Over the course of my leadership career I have heard a message from those who follow me that I can improve in my communication ability.

It is not uncommon I have talked to other leaders and they share that this is often something they see on feedback surveys and such.

So I am reading several books simultaneously. It is fun to see when books dovetail or divert from each other. Here are some of the notes and quotes from today's reading:

Jim Knight's Better Conversations. 

Chapter 1: Radical Brokenness and Better Conversations

Quotes:

"In schools, better conversations can dramatically improve educator and student learning." p.2

"Everyone, adults and children, experience greater well-being when they are heard, respected, and valued." p. 2

"Our schools are only as good as the conversations within them." p.4

Reflection:

As a school leader, I am frustrated that we do not have this as a major part of our training. Developing the ability to foster great conversations is an art... and can help us build trust and get results in a school. I will do my best to lead those under my leadership to learn these skills.

Kim Scott's Radical Candor

Chapter 1: Build Radically Candid Relationships (see what I mean by dovetailing!)

Quotes: 

"Every time I feel I have something more "important" to do than listen to people, I remember these words from my mentor, "It is your job!" p.4

"Emotional labor is not just pat of the job, it is the key to being a good boss." p.5

"Many people feel they aren't as good at management as they are at the 'real' part of their job. Often they fear they are failing the people who report to them." p. 5

"Ultimately, bosses are responsible for results... Bosses guide a team to achieve results." p.6

"Three areas of responsibility for managers include: Guidance, team-building, and results." p. 6

Reflection:

I have felt many of the emotions Kim shared as a leader. We are often alone. We are often facing ugly gossip, negative comments about each decision. Isolation and self-doubt are not a great combination. This year I had to truly embrace the growth mind-set. Take every stumble and reflect on it. Hopefully internalizing the feedback that helps and having the ability to discard the unprofessional and often personal comments that do not produce any growth. I am committed to growing- and look throughout history at people that have not always been popular or in the embrace of the group. Galileo, Lincoln, King, even Washington all had times of failure and of unpopularity. Yet they persevered. As will I.

So, I have felt the tension between wanting to get stuff done and listening to people when they need to talk. It is nice to see that my natural inclination to care for people is the KEY!

Brene' Brown's Dare to Lead

Section Three: The Armory

Quotes:

"At the center of all our elaborate personal security measures and protection schemes lies the most precious treasure of the human experience: the heart." p. 72

"I've always talked about living with an unarmored heart as wholeheartedness... engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness." p. 72

"Shame is the feeling that washes over us and makes us feel so flawed that we question whether we are worthy of love, belonging, and connection." p. 75

Reflection:

Shame. Heavy. Like the chains of the ghost of Christmas past... I've felt them. Felt unworthy. This is what I faced head on starting last October. I no longer let shame just rumble around free in my heart. I believe I am worthy. Worthy of respect and care. Worthy of self care. Worthy of grace. Though putting on armor is part of how I have lived- I am getting better at letting that stuff staff in the closet as I walk into maturity- walk into a life as a leader where I am not protecting myself- focused on loving others.

Though I am tired- let me get one more in here...

Gloeman, Boyatzis, and McKee's Primal Leadership

Chapter 1: Primal Leadership

Quotes:

"Great leadership works through the emotions." p. 3

"If leaders fail in this primal task of driving emotions in the right direction, nothing they do will work as well as it could or should." p. 3

"This emotional task of the leader... is both the original and the most important act of leadership." p.5

"Throughout history and in cultures everywhere, the leader in any human group has been the one to whom others look for assurance and clarity when facing uncertainty." p. 5

"Whether an organization withers or flourishes depends to a remarkable extent on the leader's effectiveness in this prime emotional dimension." p.6

Reflection:

I feel this theme- and can see how I missed it before. The fear that people will judge me for task completion has often had me get to "work." instead of thinking about how thinking about connecting to the emotions of a staff is more important that the to do lists and deadlines. So, can I operationalize this somehow? 

Love how these 4 books had a conversation with me tonight...